Are you a non-wanker?

Apparently "Hi non-wanker" is not a very good chat up line.

I know this because I have tried it.

But I don't really understand why. Surely the opposite of an insult is a compliment, and what better way to begin a conversation than with a compliment?

If i'm going to compliment a complete stranger I need to find something about you that is worthy of compliment otherwise it's just a gesture without any real meaning.

To be thoughtful and insightful I have to find some personality attribute that when I compliment it rings true for the person to whome it's intended.

This brings me to a glaring issue with dating women. Firstly, there isn't a single woman alive who is happy with her appearance, so we can rule out complimenting that straight away as you'll think i'm just talking bollocks to get you in bed.

Besides if I say you're pretty you'll only contest the issue, and worse, your initial impression of me is of somebody who's looking for aesthetic beauty, rather than seeing the real person underneath and this couldn't be further from the truth, I really don't give a damn what the cover of the book looks like, it's the erotic scene at the end of chapter 1 that has me interested! And your personality, of course...

Instead i'm looking for personality traits that I might enjoy. Traits I like to be around or traits I might learn from to expand and grow myself.

But personality is a very difficult thing to judge when you are yet to meet somebody, but one thing we're all pretty good at is calling those people who don't live up to our standards "wankers". This generic multi-purpose British insult cuts right to the point, is difficult to defend yourself against being (on account of the great deal of truth contained within the statement), can be used against anyone of any sex age or creed, and using it without any other words frequently makes it even more offensive to further increase the impact of the insult.

So surely by opening with the polar opposite of this fairly low British insult I am stating that

1) I'm not bothered by how ugly you think you are.
2) You have not annoyed me whilst driving.
3) I want to talk more and get to know you.
4) What i've observed of you so far is worthy of huge compliment.
5) I'm not shallow.

So how can such a fantastic opening line fail?

It must have been hand gestures.

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